'I'm not paying $200 for people who weren't invited': Fiancé's family brings along uninvited guests to a pre-wedding dinner, then expects the groom to fork up the cash to pay for their meals

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Jun 6, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

Crashing a wedding is only cute in the movies. In reality, it costs the bride and groom a small fortune to accommodate any new arrivals, and for a budget-conscious couple, not just anyone is privy to take part in their expensive nuptials. Uninvited guests forget that their microwaved airplane food is costing the couple $100s in catering fees, yet the audacity of crashing a wedding event still happens.

But this groom put his foot down, making the uninvited guests at his pre-wedding dinner out their money where their mouth is—which feels like the LEAST they can do.

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  • I used to work in the wedding industry, and there's one thing that I came to expect for every event: Entitled guests are going to take advantage of the bride and groom's hospitality. Whether they get a little too feisty at the open bar, pack their purse with cookies to go, or steal the mic for an unplanned speech, wedding guests have a certain audacious entitlement that often goes unchecked. But not in this next story...

  • Cheezburger Image 10513879040
    via Syda Productions

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • AITAH for asking my fiancée relatives to pay for themselves after they brought uninvited guests to our pre-wedding dinner?
    via HeWhoSoughtTheFire
  • I (30M) am engaged to my fiancée (29F), and we're getting married this fall. Last weekend, we hosted a small pre-wedding dinner. Just a chill evening for our immediate families to meet, talk
    via HeWhoSoughtTheFire
  • and celebrate a bit before the real wedding chaos begins. We reserved a table at a mid-range restaurant we both like (good food, not crazy expensive). We confirmed 14 guests: our parents, siblings plus two
    via HeWhoSoughtTheFire
  • friends from the wedding party. Everything was set. I even called ahead to double-check the headcount. We show up and her family brings four extra people: her cousin and his wife
    via HeWhoSoughtTheFire
  • (who were "visiting anyway"), her sister's boyfriend, and (weirdly?..) his teenage daughter. They said it was last- minute and "hope that's okay".
    via HeWhoSoughtTheFire
  • The staff were gracious, though somewhat surprised. They had to push another table over and reshuffle the whole seating plan. We ended up waiting around 15 minutes, apologizing
    via HeWhoSoughtTheFire
  • to the servers. Not a disaster, but definitely awkward. Dinner itself was fine. Everyone had a good time. We had mains, some shared appetizers, a few bottles of wine, nothing too wild. But
    via HeWhoSoughtTheFire
  • when the check came, it was a bit over $850. We'd expected around $650 based on the confirmed guests and menu. So, I quietly asked the server to split
    via HeWhoSoughtTheFire
  • the extras' meals from the rest. I paid for the 14 we planned for. The extra ~$200 from the uninvited guests? I felt that wasn't really on us, lol. Everyone paid without fuss, but her cousin
    via HeWhoSoughtTheFire
  • seemed confused. Her sister didn't say anything at the time, but later my fiancée told me she felt embarrassed and that I made her family feel unwelcome. She said I "could have just
    via HeWhoSoughtTheFire
  • let it go for one night" and brought it up later. I said I didn't want to pretend everything was fine while people ignore basic plans we made together. She said it felt like I turned a family dinner into a "power move" over money.
    via HeWhoSoughtTheFire
  • Now things are somewhat weird between us... So, AITAH?
    via HeWhoSoughtTheFire
  • D
    via Syda Productions

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • No-Cost-2668 "I'm not paying $200 dollars for people who weren't invited" NTA
    via No-Cost-2668
  • Swankestcoot5 NTA, this is YOUR wedding, pre or not. You did not send invitations out to this family, so they weren't invited. They could have easily called you ahead of time to tell you
    via Swankestcoot5
  • about this and you and her could have discussed whether or not you are comfortable with it. Your fiance's relatives are the a holes.
    via Swankestcoot5
  • privacy6310. NTA I think you handled it well. In what world is it socially acceptable to show up to a hosted dinner with 4 uninvited guests? The fact they didn't offer to pay for them is an additional level of rudeness.
    via privacy6310
  • RetMilRob ⚫ Think you may want to have a more serious talk with your fiancé. I would bet that she expected this and was even informed beforehand. Hence the surprised look on the cousins face and her reaction later. You made her look bad to her family after she said it would be fine. NTA
    via RetMilRob
  • ZealousidealAdagio58 NTA. Would they sit down at a random table and expect them to pay? No, It's rude.
    via ZealousidealAdagio58

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